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Suicidal Thoughts

Whatever situation you are in, whatever trouble you are in, whatever despair, hurt, pain, confusion, rejection, fear or overwhelm you feel . . . whatever sense of helplessness, or hopelessness, or belief there is no solution . . . or whatever else has driven you to have suicidal thoughts, please know there is another way. You and your life are worth it.

Just because you can’t see any other way out, it does not mean there isn’t one. It’s just your thoughts and beliefs and perspective that are keeping you stuck in that Rats’ Den part of your mind where all is miserable and trapped. (Part One, chapter three).

The truth is you do have that completely different Palace part of your brain just next door in your own head, right now, from where you can see different perspectives and which has its own intellect to find solutions. You also have your ‘higher self’ you (Part One, chapter one) that’s just as ingrained in you as the bad stuff – it’s who you really are. You can use this book to find this part of you and turn things around completely.

And there are people willing to help you. People who will not judge you or dismiss you. People who genuinely care and know you are worth helping and can see your value – and beyond your problem, even if you can’t. People who can help achieve solutions with you or even for you. People who would be pleased you’ve gone to them. I promise.

It’s not a reflection of you that things are bad or too much to handle. It’s just a reflection of where you are in your journey through life. If you give up, you will never know any of the possibilities that lie ahead for you.

Shifting things right now

Instead of giving all your power to what’s wrong and feeling all the emotion of that, if you were to turn your energy ‘outwards’ just a little bit, what’s the first tiny thing you might allow yourself to do towards helping yourself?

~ Could you flick to another topic or chapter in this book to see if you can find something helpful?

~ Could you be willing to screw up the courage to believe me when I say there’s someone out there who cares and can help?

~ Could you be willing to recognise there is a positive alternative that would help you feel better?

~ If you let yourself have the courage and you were to reach out to someone, could you think about who you could reach out to?

~ If you were willing, just for a moment, to turn your energy outwards (Part One, chapter ten), who would be easiest for you to reach out to? A trusted family member? A kindly teacher at school? A school support worker? A friend’s parent?

~ Could you go to a website and reach out for help there? www.kooth.com or www.7cups.com may appeal to you.

~ Could you phone the Samaritans on 116 123?

Whilst I wasn’t suicidal as such, many years ago I had a devastating experience and was in shock. I didn’t have anyone to turn to in the middle of the night and I phoned the Samaritans three times in the space of 12 hours. It helped me to just talk to someone who didn’t know me that I could tell my story to and process things a bit rather than just feel the overwhelm of them. They are there waiting to listen, sympathetically and non-judgmentally.

There are many famous actors and athletes and people today who felt suicidal and even attempted suicide as young people. You are not alone. But just think of all they would have missed out on if they had died. The same goes for you too.

Suicide causes pain and grief, for parents, families, teachers, friends, and others who know you. Some will never come to terms with it. For what purpose?

And you never get the opportunity to grow up to see things in a different light as an adult, which I promise you is a very different perspective.

Suicide is the ultimate in turning your energy inward and giving your power away to negativity. It is final.

You are in charge of your mind

I know it can be really hard when you are in state of devastation or overwhelm or confusion or fear or numbness to be able to think clearly at all. Yet the truth is, you are in charge of your mind. No thought can live there unless you let it.

You do have a choice to let all the misery and despair rule you, or to remember you have your Palace mind right there too, where everything is different.

Below is a quick and simple visualisation to help. Click here to download the audio to have me guide you through it. (It won’t play direct, you’ll need to download it when prompted)

Visualisation – The River

Close your eyes, try to take a deep breath . . . and just be in this moment – and allow yourself to imagine you are walking beside a river. It’s a beautiful day, the perfect temperature for you, just a light breeze now and again feeling fresh on your face as you stroll along, watching the water flow so effortlessly . . . it doesn’t need to be pushed along; a river can get there on its own – so effortlessly . . . and can find its way – and you can find your way – without even trying . . . The river winds its way around rocks and obstacles . . . and there may be large rocks and there may be difficulties but it does find a way . . . and it finds the right way . . . for it to overcome those difficulties and problems . . . and keeps flowing past them and beyond, with no trace of that obstacle as it continues its journey . . . and isn’t it nice to know that you can also overcome problems and difficulties, just like the river . . . and how reassuring to be aware that you will find . . . the right way . . . to achieve the right outcome for those particular problems and difficulties . . . that is just right for you . . . and how comforting it is to know you have the same strength and flexibility as the river to find the right way around those rocks and obstacles that you have in your way right now . . . finding the way effortlessly past them and beyond, with no trace of your obstacle as you continue your journey . . . knowing you have the same strength and flexibility as the river to flow just as freely . . .

As you walk along the river bank, you notice the beautiful trees and hear the birds and feel the sun dappling through the leaves on your skin . . . it’s so peaceful and calm here . . . you relax a little more and just sit down under a large tree, leaning against the trunk which seems to have the perfect curve for your back . . . you close your eyes and may even drift off into a doze for a little while . . . or even a few hours . . . knowing that time here stands still . . . until you feel rested and able to continue strolling along the river bank, noticing how everything looks a bit brighter than before, the trees even more lovely, the sky more blue, the sun a little warmer, the river flowing effortlessly past those obstacles in its way, as always . . .

Be here for as long as you wish to feel rested and strengthened and then, when you’re ready . . . just gently come back to your room and open your eyes.

Creating a new path

You do have all the wherewithal in your Palace mind right now to overcome your problems and negative feelings. I guarantee it, because that part of your brain is wired up like that. Let’s see what we can do here, taking each step at a time:

Suppose you were willing to suspend all your horrible reality just for a moment and picture things the way you would like . . . what would be different? (You do know . . . ) If you had a magic wand or a genie popped up for you, what would you ask for? What would that picture look like? Allow yourself to let all those ‘magic wand’ thoughts take shape in your mind. Paint the picture in your mind as clearly as you can.
Now make sure it’s within your command, or reframe it that way if not. For example, wanting that boy/girlfriend not to have dumped you, or wanting your abuser to stop, or wanting not to have been caught stealing, etc. is not in your command. What is in your command is picturing yourself with another girl or boyfriend that you can be even happier with, or finding someone you could report your abuser to who sorts everything out for you, or taking the punishment for stealing on the chin and turning it into something good. ~ Reframe “I want my girl/boyfriend back” into “I have a new relationship that is even better than the one that’s ended.” ~ Reframe “I want my abuser to stop” into “I want to find someone to help me get this stopped.” ~ Reframe “I hate having been caught” into “I choose to take this on the chin and turn it into something good.” Etc. (See Part One, chapter eight). Paint the detail of these pictures in your mind as clearly as possible. (You might even be able to end up thanking the experience for being the beginning of a whole new path in life! I know I have)!
Now that you have a clear focus, be willing to splat any thoughts that pop up to get in your way. What image could you have to defeat them that feels like it works?” Let’s say it’s crushing them or blowing them up. As you focus on your new picture and what your ideal scenario would be clearly in your mind, defeat any thoughts that pop up telling you that you ‘can’t have this’ or that it’s ‘too difficult’ or ‘this feels silly’ or ‘this can’t/wont work’ etc. with the image you have chosen. You do have this power.
Keep focused on that picture in your mind of exactly what would be different, how it would be instead, what you’d really like. Remember you are in charge of your mind and are in charge of your thoughts. (Part One, chapter three and chapter eight – i)
Now imagine, just for a moment, this picture was real now. How would it feel? What difference would it make to you each day? What else would be different? How would that feel? Buy into your feelings as if the pictures you’re imagining were absolutely your reality now, splatting anything that gets in the way. Take your time – 10 minutes or more if you can.
If you really wanted this new picture to happen, what tiny step could you take towards that? There is an answer. You have that answer already inside you. Perhaps that first tiny step is telling yourself over and over you have the courage to get some help. (Remember your brain will believe what you tell it, and quite quickly, especially if you buy into the feeling of what you’re saying – demonstrated in Part One, chapter six: point 2 Use Palace language). Perhaps that first tiny step is reading a specific topic in this book that gives you a new perspective. Perhaps it’s starting at the beginning of this book and working your way through it so you can think in a whole different way and have everything change. Whatever that first tiny step is, know that you can take it. You can always get out of the way of yourself if you allow it.
What is the next tiny step after that you could take towards your picture? Follow through again.
Read the topic The Important Shift in Part Two to support yourself.
Read Part One, chapter ten to realise the power you do have over the way you feel.
As soon as you can, build up to reading and actioning Part One, chapters eight i – iv and chapter nine so that you are using your Palace Mind fully and building those blocks to feel good about yourself.
What Enneagram personality are you? (Part One, chapter one). Where are you showing up as your lower self? (Part Two, More About Higher Self and Lower Self)). What is the negative energy space you are coming from i.e. your deepest fear that you are innately trying to resist? What does this tell you about why you are feeling so overwhelmed, hopeless and helpless? What does your higher self look like? How different would things be if you showed up this way instead?

Realise that anti-depressant pills, talking about problems, trying to ‘fix problems’ (which can only give temporary relief at best), or mixing in groups of other depressed people, does not help you move forward. It’s changing what you believe about yourself and your world that opens a new way.

The ultimate antidote to suicidal thoughts is to feel good about you, to automatically then function from your Palace mind to be in your best space to cope, handle things and achieve. The Recipe in Part One takes you through all this – simply, easily and pleasantly. The sooner you allow yourself to start, the sooner you’ll be able to look back and feel so glad you chose this path instead.

That’s what you deserve. That’s what you’re worth. I promise.